Well, Lorna was on MC and so its just me & Baizura today. Us ladies are considered near-to-extinction species for the Evening Shift here in the office. Or shall I say the endangered species - it sounds better doesn't it? Considering that we are quite dangerous at times wakakakaka. Baizura was a bit concern as she knows that I normally spend my dinner time at the pantry with Lorna - but I told her not to worry as I have some things to do - which is updating my blog and therefore I won't feel all alone. Kelly Clarkson is here singing to me. :) I like her singing soooooooooooo very much. Suddenly the subject of my-ex came to mind - Kak Nina informed me a few months ago that he is to get married in March. So I guess he is now a happily married man. Good for him. Yes its true I can not forget him. Well, FYI I am not with amnesia you know. So whatever that has happened and whoever so that has crossed my mind are not easily forgotten especially in "extra-special" cases hehehehe.
I met him through the internet (yeah yah cliche - I saw that cynical smile but never mind I'll let it pass this time). We started out as friends. He had a girlfriend of 7 years but had to break up coz his mother doesn't like her - a complicated family affair situation I must say. They were somehow related. He was too weak in defending the relationship- I should have seen it coming but what do I know I was to blind (and not to mentioned stupid that time). Then his mom introduced him to another girl - a surprise awaits me; I know the girl! She was my "kakak angkat" during my high school. I was even the volunteered "Posto Girl" between her and her then BF. What a small world.
I know that the relationship between him and me was not meant to be because I am a true believer that guy should start first or in a different way of saying - to propose. But in this case it was me! Sigh, I do not know...but all I know is that I really loved him very very much and I just wanna be by his side. And so I popped the question during Ramadhan after a special night after a special occasion and after a special plea with God :) I do have normal conversational session with my God as HE had promised each and every one of us that HE will always be there for us.
I thought it was a bad move because he kept quiet for few days and I thought "You are such an idiot girl! You have had a nice friendship and relationship and you have done a very good job at destroying it"! At least that is what I thought before he called to say that he accepted it :) There were things which he have said to me on that night that I still remember and still make me smile till today. But if you don't mind, I would like to keep it to myself :)
Well, time flies and honestly no one spoke about breaking up but I noticed we were getting far apart in every aspect. Even when I was with him, he would talk about that 'kakak' I mentioned up there and also about the girl his mother was interested in, to match make with him. And that point of time, I was still his girl friend! Like I said, no one said anything about breaking up.
I was really heart broken, because he is (yes it's a present tense and not past tense - for some reason) my first love. Honestly, after that incident, I can only look at guys as friends and not more than that. Its very hard for me to comprehend but yes, friends is all it is. Its not that I forced myself to avoid relationships but I did not see anyone with the same feeling I had when I was with him. Pathetic, yup indeed I was and perhaps I still am. I do not know what's the future holds for me but I do know that HE is with me along the way :)
To be continued...
I know that the relationship between him and me was not meant to be because I am a true believer that guy should start first or in a different way of saying - to propose. But in this case it was me! Sigh, I do not know...but all I know is that I really loved him very very much and I just wanna be by his side. And so I popped the question during Ramadhan after a special night after a special occasion and after a special plea with God :) I do have normal conversational session with my God as HE had promised each and every one of us that HE will always be there for us.
I thought it was a bad move because he kept quiet for few days and I thought "You are such an idiot girl! You have had a nice friendship and relationship and you have done a very good job at destroying it"! At least that is what I thought before he called to say that he accepted it :) There were things which he have said to me on that night that I still remember and still make me smile till today. But if you don't mind, I would like to keep it to myself :)
Well, time flies and honestly no one spoke about breaking up but I noticed we were getting far apart in every aspect. Even when I was with him, he would talk about that 'kakak' I mentioned up there and also about the girl his mother was interested in, to match make with him. And that point of time, I was still his girl friend! Like I said, no one said anything about breaking up.
I was really heart broken, because he is (yes it's a present tense and not past tense - for some reason) my first love. Honestly, after that incident, I can only look at guys as friends and not more than that. Its very hard for me to comprehend but yes, friends is all it is. Its not that I forced myself to avoid relationships but I did not see anyone with the same feeling I had when I was with him. Pathetic, yup indeed I was and perhaps I still am. I do not know what's the future holds for me but I do know that HE is with me along the way :)
To be continued...
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