Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Tak Mungkin Kerana Sayang....(Ain't Cause of Love)

Last night, I stayed in the office pretty much late. Until 11:30PM to be exact. I have a presentation today and since I don't have any computer at home, (after the only one which I have (purchased using my Bonda's money while I was in college), decided to die on me) I normally have to stay back and do my home work. Last night was one of the nights mentioned. As I was waiting for :) to fetch me, I suddenly has this urge to search via Google for someone who used to be special in my life once upon a time not too long ago. Why? Beats me... But my guess is because that I had come across his name while searching for some other things a few hours before.
Did I miss him? Am I still in love with him? Do I still have feelings for him? One would have think in such a manner and condemned me for such action as I am currently being with someone else now.
I believe its normal for you to think about those who have entered your life even if its within a short period of time. Friends, special love, acquaintances etc. are those who leaves if not a huge impact; a small print in your life. You will remember all those nice things about these people and be reminded of the things which they have done in a manner which could have hurt you physically and emotionally.
Sometimes, my mind does come across the names of people whom I used to know and associate with as I open my Yahoo Mail (the address book and the online chat) or search for something via the search engine, Google, Bing etc. And then out of the sudden the memories came flashing back. The days when we were together, spending time together be it on the phone, kedai mamak, in the car along the highway....Yeah, I know my dates activities are very cheap one. I don't believe in emptying your boyfriend's pocket just to have a grand date in an expensive hotel or restaurant to feel special. Having him for a boyfriend at that moment was already a special moment and feeling for me. I thanked God for allowing him to enter my life even for a very very short while.
Why do we broke up? Lets just say that THE ALMIGHTY had insisted that its not our fate to be together after all. I admit that I was really heart broken, but I could not say the same for him though, for I have decided to cut all ties with him after the short and simple relationship.
I decided that I needed the time to heal and be stronger because the break up really really hit me badly. Imagine me crying almost every night, missing him badly and almost become weak. So weak that I almost gave in to temptations of eating non-stop!!!
Shit, what was I thinking!!! HE tested me because HE knows that I am strong and I will eventually becomes stronger. And I will and I can say that I did. I opted to never die because of it!!!
I became workaholic few years, am still now I believe...Just focussing my energy on work for I know it pays off. And it eventually did. I have moved up a few steps and I will work harder to keep on moving up...up... and away. :)

1 comment:

The Tea Drinker said...

i kinda do that too. checking up on old someones. just to see if they survive. hehe.

but yes. qada n qadar. lesson learnt, move on and hope old flames dont go to bomoh.