Pouring My Heart Out

Hi All,

I am writing after a careful thought about my work and the obstacles which I have faced for the past 2 years in my current position. Waaa, so dramatic hehehehe I know but rest assured that this is going to be a very serious post, very serious indeed.

Before we begin, let me share a little bit of my working history and what I do. I am currently working for a BPO company. In layman terms its "Legal Human Trafficking" hehehehe. We run contact centers which were outsourced to us and our clients includes some big names in Malaysia and abroad. been here for almost four and a half years now. Started as a normal staff up to my current position now.

My work is quality related and so anything and everything related to the communication which has taken place between us and customers, my team and I will be monitoring, provide coaching, feedback and training if deemed required.

But I guess the level of understanding is different amongst different people. I have been facing continuous issues especially ever since the rewarding program was introduced by the clients. Should you have no complaints, no failing the quality monitoring session, each staff will be rewarded with RMxxx amount of cash. So whenever, anyone failed, the TL will come and humping on the scores and wanting it to be changed so that everyone can get the recognition and money.

I noticed that the environment is getting very mundane with each staff getting more and more robotic. First, they want everything to be scripted and the staffs will be following the script blindly and not knowing how to react when being asked on questions which are out of the 'norm-script'. My approach? To get the staffs understanding on the real purpose of the script, the logic behind it and the work around for it.

The staffs were told to ask "Are you happy with my service?" before ending the call. And one staff actually shared his uneasiness with the script, because he felt like a male-whore on the call. And customer giggling towards his question only emphasize the feelings further :)

Another classic example was when a staff was shouted upon asking the same question.
"Are you playing dumb or really really stupid? Of course I am not happy with the service!" Guess what, the staff did not know what to do and so responded by simply saying "Oh you are not happy is it. Thank you for calling xxxx". What the hell?!?!?!

Well those are a few examples of how things can be. Well, according to internal SOP staffs are to transfer the dis-satisfied calls to a 2nd level team whose duty is purely to salvage the customer. But because the staff did not have the slightest idea or clue of the purpose of the script, that is what happened.

I have noticed a few things throughout my tenure in this company, which I believe is not right. And through continuous efforts I still failed to have some changes done for the better, for they believe that quality should be stagnant and no improvement is required or needed since it appears to be harmless.

I have been attacked personally for the past two years and last Thursday I had actually broke down and cried. It is just so much that a girl can endure that I don't think I can take it anymore. I am asking for the participation from everyone else in a minimum level and even that, I am seen as a trouble maker and adding work to some other people.

We were told that we are the SME - Subject Matter Expert but we are actually not. Well, if we are then people will be listening to us right? But people have been opposing to everything that we are trying to do. You have to start some where before you can improve on certain things. You don't expect an improvement from something from the thin air. Human capital is what we are delivering and hence I believe that is one thing that we need to be good at, if not perfect but sadly people think its useless.

My work is killing me in the sense that its taking too much of space in my brain that the only thing left to do at home is playing games to ease my tense. I am seriously considering to leave this position. Well, I know you would say that its shallow to do so just when you are faced with a challenge. Trust me, the challenges I have faced non-stop for the past two years are more than what I have shared above but its for me to know and handle :)

Well, if the quality itself is at an Okay stage there's no need for company to pay me right because that is what I have been asked to do and indeed it has been achieved.

Jogoya StarHill

Well, I guess most people already knew what and where is Jogoya

I had accidentally 'bumped' into Jogoya a week before Raya. Office was planning for a buka puasa and the location was Impiana Hotel KLCC. So Hicham suggested the idea of Jogoya - though at time we could not make any reservation because apparently the booking for the whole month is full. Hence, while browsing the website http://www.jogoyarestaurants.com/ we saw a discounted promotion up until 29th August 2012. We decided then to go on the 28th of August which is yesterday :)

There's supposed to be seven of us but Hicham decided that he could not go, Mus had a bad flu so food shall be tasteless for him and Zayba had a last minute work so she can't make it either. So its just me, Edmund, Abang Ben and Firuz. Off we go at 6:30pm. We walked through the new connector bridge from Impiana Hotel KLCC all the way to Pavilion. We got lost for a while inside the building and both Edmund and Firuz were using Mr Google to search for the place which happens to be just one floor above of us :)

With the discounted price buffet for four people is roughly RM300. Expensive? Yes kind off, but let's see if it matches the reputation. The ambiance atmosphere is one of the first thing we noticed. We were brought to a table at the end of the restaurant. Aiyak, that far! But then again it encourages you to explore what is there along the way which is food food and more food.

The only station I did not stop by was the Sushi station and I did not take any steamboat as well. I started off with some Japanese , , and Chinese cuisine such as the famous Singapore Chilli Crab , the crabs were so soft that I end up eating the whole thing inclusive of the shell! Took some of these yummy scallops , some cheese oysters .

. - This I could not take although its tempting, the crab body is bigger than my palm. This one is strictly for members only :)

Took bits of this and that just to have a taste. Since this is my first time so I don't really know what really wanna eat. The food is not bad at all, in fact some are very delicious and to my liking. I am not saying that there's food which are not tasty, but some are not to my liking. Oyster with cheese is something which does not suit my taste buds that well. And even if I had wanted to eat raw oyster with lemon and Tabasco sauce, I end up watching watching Edmund having few of those. I need more time to tell my throat that everything is going to be just fine :)

We spent almost 2 and half hours there, eating almost everything. Haagen Dazs and New Zealand Ice Cream were on free flow. . There's a chocolate fondue as well.


Had a nice black coffee, and a whole small teapot of Wulong tea afterward. . I purposely chose this kinda teapot just to have an authentic feeling of drinking Chinese Tea :)

All and all its an exceptional dining experience for me. I do plan to go there and really eat for now I know what do I want. My phone decided to black out on me yesterday and hence I could not get any picture. Please note that the pictures above were taken from Google just to describe the food which I have eaten. Whole list of what they have can be viewed via their website. I am loving it!

Alhamdulillah, Thank You Ramadhan...

Today is already the tenth day of Syawal and I guess pretty much things are back to normal. For one the traffic is congested as always so that pretty much sums up right? Shamefully I have to admit that last Ramadhan was not with a good productivity. I missed the congregational Tarawikh and most often end up doing it by myself at home after work. Rugi rugi..

I understand that all the good deeds should be done continuously through out the year and not just during the Holy Month of Ramadhan. But Tarawikh is the only prayer you can do during this wonderful and blessed month. I must say that I do struggle with the things which I normally do, being temperamental is one of it. Its a good anger management practice as I learn to calm myself down which is not easy especially when you are surrounded by incompetent people who is just there to test your patience. Good practice but indeed I must do more. I noticed that my productivity is also a bit lower than non-fasting month, which is not good as you are not supposed to use Ramadhan as an excuse for not being able to perform your work as per normal.

But yeah, I can see and feel that I was not productive. I would normally have a lot of things to do, reports to create,analysis to learn but apparently it just stops there so this month and moving forward I need to be on the go. Go go Power Rangers Hahaha can you believe it that I used to adore these rangers, one of its kind I'd say.

Well anyway, thank you Ramadhan for the blessings and gift which you have shared with me. Insyallah, if Allah permits we'll be seeing each other again next year and like wise I shall never stop from trying to closer to you.

Good Bye Param ...

Hmm on this day a month ago, was one of my staff's last day. Param aka Premy (the man is with a split personality) is leaving for a better position and salary. He is an asset to the company but I will never stop my guys from growing outside if not inside.

I strongly believe that a good leader will not only perform his/her job well but also being able to mold his/her subordinates to become better at being the leader of the next generations. People often asked me if I am not tired of training people when they leave for a better position or offer. I guess they themselves forgotten that they have mentioned the word "better". Being a front liner staff allows to you to learn what the job is all about and being better at it. But your leader must be able to recognize your talent before polishing it to prepare you for the next promotions to come. But sadly that is not happening.

I have been conducting a few interviews whenever there's a vacancy for my team and sadly I don't see the leaders playing a significant role in developing the people. Of course, I don't expect you to know in and out the function of the job which you are applying but a little bit of knowledge doesn't hurt and will certainly help you to get through the ordeal of the interview.

Secondly, most of the time the leaders comments are rubbish! Mainly its just to 'give face' or because it is part of the application form requirement. Example; under Time Management Box the staff wrote "I come on time and goes back on time. And the leader will rate it as Excellent! Firstly there's no elaboration on how the staff was able to go back on time, no mentioning about the productivity what so ever. Excellent should go to those who came to work earlier I'd say, but of course not necessary to go back late as it can be a sign of low productivity - targets not achieved hence to complete the target the staffs are staying back.

Sadly the leaders does not make effort to get to know the staffs that well hence hindering the ability to work around their weaknesses while not forgetting their strengths.

Well anyway, Param is a Gentle Giant in my team. Not to mention a little bit crazy with his 18sx jokes. He is slightly round and a very jovial person. He lightens up any situation but is damn serious when it comes to work. His passion was to be in the Operation's Team but sadly no one had actually taken him seriously and he was always the second through some people's eyes. Not to mentioned most of the time being bullied by others to clean up their shit. So one fine day he applied for a position in my team, at that time I was not yet promoted and so we became colleagues. Even when I so-called became his boss, he never fails to lend me a hand teaching me on the things which I know not and always there to listen to my crankiness and craziness, oh not to mention the long 'lecture' aka "membebel" at all times. I am going to miss that.

He never cease to amaze me with all sorts of talents he has, a good makan makan partner as well. Although we are the kinda pair, when it comes to eating I think we enjoyed each others company. He always bring food from home. Staying with his family of four and together with his aunt and grandmother, he was never short of food I guess. He would bring a lot of cakes and fruits to be shared. But my favorite will be the Papadom :) Haha something to munch during work.

I wish him all the best for his future and thank you always for being an awesome subordinate but most importantly an awesome friend. Missing you Param aka Premy.

Meaningful and meaningless

What's with the post title anyway? I don't know,I guess that pretty much  sums up what I am currently feeling. Well at times, when I am all alone I tend to wonder about the things which I have done, decisions which I have made etc. And then I will be judging my own action and the results of it. Lately I questioned a lot of things revolving whether or not it's worth of something or nothing at all. Was the efforts really worth it or just to buy time before other things started coming. Sheesh, pathetic ....I really don't know. Ramadhan blues....is there really one?

In Islam and perhaps most religion, there is an Afterlife which resulted from your before death. I kept asking myself if I have enough of what is needed for me to pass through to Jannah. Was I sincere enough in performing my tasks?Was I able to contain my frustration so that I don't end up hurting people?Was I a good leader who manage to put aside all the favours for the sake of my team?Am I a good daughter who rarely put worry thoughts to my parents mind (to use the word never is impossible I guess).Have I been a good friend to my friends without asking anything in return?

And since I will be getting married soon, Insyaallah,will I be able to be a good wife....then mother? A lot of things scares me and I am uncertain if I will live that long to be able to collect more pahala,make less dosa if not none,seek forgiveness from everyone whom I have hurt intentionally or un-intentionally,forgiving those who have hurt me....

Allah has been blessing with everything and anything which I can remember.The test HE gave provided the training to make me a better person. And I hope I will continue to be one. Thank you Allah.

Back to office....

Today, sadly I am back to the office after a long leave, in fact the longest leave I have ever taken while serving in this company (I know I know such a show off that I am a dedicated employee when in fact I am not hehehe). Well, despite the laziness in me ( what do you expect after a long leave right? Obviously I need to warm up the engine before moving to turbo speed) I do look forward to coming to the office, to sit on my chair at my desk and checking my emails. Most importantly to greet my friends and my staffs. Missed them so much during the festive seasons. But thanks to an application called What's App, we managed to keep in touch with one another as a group.At least it is not so boring as we are still able to communicate and share the festive season's mood.

We will be having a special Raya Celebration in the office so I wore my baju raya of course :) Will be updating the pictures soon. Though I must say I am not so keen about posting my pics in my blog. Not that I am a celebrity or someone famous but just the uneasiness in me. The 'makan makan' is due at 3pm today at the project's respective floor so I will be going to 20th floor later. Why? Less people equals to more food yeay! Yes, despite my so call small size, I can really eat as in EAT!!! My staffs and my fiancee suspects that I might have a "Saka' with me that is why I can eat non-stop without putting on weight. Saka they say?! I say blessing.

Emails checked and reply. Reports to be updated. Meeting at 12pm and later at 5pm. Was planning to go back slightly early today because I am staying with my mom in Sungai Besi, Dad's off to Mongolia for a visit. But judging from the above, most probably that ain't gonna happen huhu. Anyways will try my luck tomorrow. Till then people, let me go and try to finish some reports here. Will update the makan makan once I am full :)

I am a sportsman hence I am untouchable...hell yeah

Ramadhan is reaching its end and it is sad to say good bye, not knowing if you will be given a chance to see it again next year :( I did not buy any new clothes or shoes or head scarves this year.I only bought my baju nikah and wedding ring..yeay yeay. Found it at last. Alhamdulillah.

But Raya cookies are a must. I have thre different types of Pineapple tarts )bought 2 and my Bonda bought one), a Red Velvet cake for Raya Eve celebration and some Almong London and Toffee Biscuits. My boss gave me additional Toffee Biscuits as a means for saying thank you for helping me out. I think the continuation of the statement is "...by not annoying me this whole Ramadhan" hehehehe it is a mandatory work for me to annoy and disturb my boss.

As I was browsing my Facebook, a recent post by my friend disturbs me.  Apparently this so called expert Tenpin Bowler walks freely after admitting that he has raped a 13 year girl few years back. The reason why he escaped? Well according to the Court of Appeal president Raus Md Sharif, that public interest would not be served by a custodial sentence, as Noor Afizal showed great promise. And how is that? Simple, when and if he wins any medal or World Title he will be bringing Malaysia to a greater heights and then we as the public will be recognized for it. Get it? Simple right? But then look at the tweet between him and his current girlfriend below

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Credit for the screen shot above to http://killingtimewithijahamran.wordpress.com/2012/08/09/child-rapist-walks-free-mole-my/

Judging from the way he tweeted, all that matters is that he is free - so he has all right to be happy regardless what people say because he got what he want - to be free.

Then check out what the next tweet states. Excuse me!!! Why in the name of heaven should we the Malays feel jealous when you escape from imprisonment? Oh, maybe you are referring to those being jailed for the same offense? But wait a minute I don't think so that these dissatisfaction comes from those group of people. Oh I see, you just wanna feel good about yourself. In Bahasa Melayu we "Nak sedapkan hati sendiri".

It shows how stupid our athletes mentality are. Maybe if he were acquitted and some one else doesn't he will feel jealous, that's your freaking low mentality boy. Sadly others are unlike that no matter how much you wished them to be like you.


As for the country judiciary system -sigh, i do not know what to say except for good job guys! This will definitely boosts the youngsters morale. In order to screw someone even if he/she underage all you need to do is be an athlete or maybe someone important. That's a boost right?!

An injustice in the holy month of Ramadhan.

Olympic 2012

Well, to be totally honest I have forgotten all about it until I watched the Olympic Documentary in TV1 a few days back. A good one but too bad 'boring' documentary was always meant to be shown during midnight. What a waste :( The first I watched was something to with gymnastics. The history of the champions and the legends. Of course since I was small, Nadia Comaneci was the one name repeatedly mentioned as the first to score perfect ten's for her routine. An achievement no one thought possible in the previous decades.

Well, I was able to view through her performance and I find it very ...perfect! Lost for words there, but I had actually started watching Olympics Gymnastics when Shanon Miller was the American Queen of Gymnast. I remember that I was glued to the TV whenever the gymnastics routine started because I find her to be very graceful (if you can that to describe the beautiful movements). Even I felt sad when she lost to the Romanian and China's gymnasts. Pergh meleleh air mata kesedihan, sorry but that was the exaggerating part :) Well anyway, I envy those gymnasts for having such a flexible body able to twist and turn very neatly. How I wish I can do the same just for fun. But crap my body is as hard as a plywood can be, so count that out :(

Other than gymnastics, my favorites would be the track and field. I know everyone are so eager to see who is the next King and Queen of speed :) One name I considered to be a legend is Flo-Jo. I guess most of the names belongs to the American Team because they sort of dominates the games which I am into. The quartet was always fondly known as The Bullet. And I must say that the baton passing was awesomely done each and every time possible. Marvelous, oh so  marvelous.

But a link via the Yahoo website intrigues, not to mention intrigues me as well as Malaysian Olympic Official Dress was said to be amongst the bad ones in London. Well, if you read my profile I did say that I was a fashion victim but I think it is kinda cool.Kebaya for the ladies and Tanjak for the gentlemen. Maybe perhaps tanjak could be black in colour but then it won't be that catchy as orange with stripes right? Or perhaps the Fashion Police would rather have this instead hehehehehehe

There's no harm in trying something different right? I dare them

Ramadhan is here...hurray :)

Assalamualaikum and peace to you readers (if any),

Ramadhan is the holy month where every Muslim around the world is anxiously waiting for. Why? Because it marks the celebration of Hari Raya AidilFitri in a month time :) Well, it is true. The first day of Ramadhan itself you can see the Aidil Fitri sales going on through out the cities across the shopping malls. I was happy when I walk through KLCC for I did not see any sign of Selamat Hari Raya, it is too soon in my opinion anyway. But how wrong was I, the decorations they hanged actually had the word Selamat Hari Raya written on it.

Don't get me wrong I have nothing against Aidil Fitri, in fact I do love Aidil Fitri for the scrumptious Beef Rendang,

 Ayam Masam Merah,

Ketupat, Rendang Itam etc wallawei food food and more food.

But the main reason for the 'celebration' of Aidil Fitri is about the winning against the obstacles you have faced during Ramadhan. So its not really justified for you to prepare for the celebration when you have not even started the 'war' againt all the temptations right?

The biggest temptation for me is  not the food and drinks but 'anger management' :) seriously Ramadhan is teaching me to be more patient, calmer and more relax. More relax in the sense that do not look in to unnecessary things that is nonsense and may cause unnecessary issues causing unnecessary blood pressure. Wah, that is not easy wei. Difficult very difficult indeed. Haha but that is a very interesting challenge right?

Anyways, I head back to my parents place on Saturday afternoon and had a buka puasa with my families. My two nephews are fasting (6 and 5 years of age). Awesome kids. The youngest are still a little bit too young. My youngest sister came back from UCSI Terengganu and it was havoc.

After terawih, I had dinner with my younger sister for our gossip routine...haish puasa puasa pun nak mengumpat kan, teruk betul :) My mother joined in before dad came down and asked for some food. Dad was not feeling well and had gone to bed earlier. He woke up to realize that my mom was not next to him and went looking for her. Awww, so sweet kan kan kan :)

Sahur went as usual, woke up to heat up the food and then after subuh went straight to bed. Not a good habit by the way people, please be reminded. Cleaned the house while the sisters and nephews went to shop for Baju Raya :) Then had a lepak lepak with them and continue gossiping wakakaka rare opportunity tau ...

Have to stop here for a while. My boss is calling me. Ok this is after office hours and I am waiting to meet up with friends later. Does that answer the question of why I am here in the office still? :)

I am just a normal human beings....

Well, late last night I bumped into some comments made by some of the staffs where I work with in one of the famous social media ever...Facebook. Well, it started with a frustration post regards to work and although the person who posted it had said something nice about me, unfortunately my own staff had posted some racial comments. I had responded generally by stating my own experience so that racial issue should not be, well....an issue.

It was late at night and hence I do not wish to disturb my PIC (Partner In Crime) and my boss. So the very next morning I went to see my boss first thing in the morning. I showed him the comments and he asked me to calm down. I did told him that I do not wish to have the person in my team - was a bit emotional once I realized how much I have actually gave in to this person's demands. But my boss had asked me to calm down and try to explain about the things to my team. Well, honestly that should be it and so I walked up while figuring out on ways to break the news to the team.

After a few minutes my PIC came and started shouting his frustration not towards me but the situation and the staff of course. Hm, I smiled for I do not know what else to do. I am juggling on my own next course of action. We went to see the boss and was told that a decision will be made by the end of the day.

I called everyone in the room, put the tablet on the table and asked them to read and then decide. Decide on what you ask? I don't know what exactly but just read it and just decide what ever you want to decide. To cut the story short, I have then discussed on the consequences of those kind of posting and then I blasted. I had actually informed them how frustrated I was and I end the session by telling them "Thank you, for on this very day, you guys have slapped me directly in the face and telling me what a bad manager I have been". I walked out from the room feeling very weak and I ignored everyone merely because I don't have the strength anymore. I almost fainted, I do have low blood pressure and this incident so doesn't help me feeling better.

I end up doing my work alone quietly and limiting any interaction possible.....

Haven't figured out any ....yet

Hmmm, I know that its has been such a long time since I last wrote anything on my dear blog. Not enough time is such a cliche excuse, plus I can not use it anyway, since I do have time to play games and watch Euro. But I guess, the person in me just wanna wind down and relax, though with the fast pace environment in the office, you will surely get none. And at times, you were dead tired as you reached home and so you can not do anything else but......play games of course :)

What happen to the office issues as posted in my previous entry? Well after I have voiced what I feels and think, I chose to leave it to them all to settle it between them. All I can say is that both parties need to sit down together to discuss about anything and everything. I have made it clear where I stand and have given suggestions to their line manager of what I think needs to be done and how, so its up to them to decide the next course of action. I don't want to be pulled to side each and I stand neutral firmly and I guess they respected my decision and the rest is history. Am I seeing something being done? Honestly no, because I believe that both party would rather succumb to their own way and so be it. I can not be handling everyone's emotions right? Suggestion...yes I can give but to decide whether one should take it or not...its entirely a different story right?

And sadly, this morning my favorite team  was shown the exit by Italy :( I'd say that this year's team was the strongest that German can come up with and I am quite skeptical if they can even make it to the next semi final of the next World Cup. But as they say, the ball is round and so anything and everything can happen in a game. When England lost due to penalty kicks, I called my beloved Ayah to discus about the game. Expected question was asked "Each time England took penalty, they will definitely lose. Don't their coach train them how to take a proper penalty?" Hehehe good question Ayah, and I still do not have the answer. I watched the last World Cup with my Ayah, I took leave just so that I can accompany him to watch football. But this year, I guess I was a little bit too busy. Sorry Ayah, I will try to make it home for Ramadhan :)

Torn in between Two

Hm, these past few weeks have been quite challenging for me. With work mainly. Office quarrels seemed to get tougher although its nothing related to me. I work closely with two personnel from two different departments, whom at this point of time does not seemed to be seeing eye to eye with one another. It had started roughly last year due to this 'certification' thingy and it seemed that another round of certification has rekindled some 'good old memories' between these two :(

My opinions were always asked by not only these two, but others as well. Why - because I was told that my opinion is trusted because I am neutral. Am I? Being neutral is not easy, and I do asked myself if indeed I am neutral. All I know is that I am blunt, most of the time when giving opinions. So even when I am giving my 'neutral' opinion, honesty may not be the best policy at this point of time. But I wouldn't lie either, hence why I'd rather keep things to myself. But then again this squabbling just had to be stopped! Even if I have to be in the middle to ensure it happens!

I understand where both parties are coming from but they need to sit down and be mediated by a neutral party of a higher position to ensure that it remains calm and that a resolution can be achieved. We are working together under the same roof and therefore we need to work together to avoid flaws instead of showing other's flaws to everyone else. Yes, to a certain extend we are frustrated when things which we are hoping for and aiming is not achieved due to constraints from others. But to point out each and every flaws to others especially the clients, is definitely not a wise move. I have given my point of view to my comrade because I was asked to, but not to another comrade, for I was not asked to.

But to make the first move, everyone needs to shove aside their negative emotions and sit together to share their opinions or to pour their heart out. Let everyone talk and voiced out their opinion. Then allow everyone to defend any accusations made to them. Before concluding what needs to be done to move on.


This is what I believe needs to be done. But I will let them decide, for at this point of time only my opinions were asked and nothing more.